Sam's Speech
Pippin still hasn't given the Scarf-Baron my candy bars and I've been waiting all day. He must be crazy! The Scarf-Baron told him to! Does he not want to see his scarf again or what?
Frodo even left a new note, saying "I want it now." Scarf Baron is very hopeful he won't get chocolate. Frodo is very allergic and might even blow up (hopefully he will not, or we will miss him dearly).
If Frodo does not get the candy by today, Frodo has no choice but steal his other scarf. That's right: Scarf Baron is a stone cold robber who don't answer to nobody.
In other news, I let Sam off the hook. He couldn't've taken the scarf now that we know that this "Scarf-Baron" is abroad. Something funny's been happening at his house too. His little posies aren't doing very well and clippings of hair are everywhere. Looks like ol' Gaffer Gamgee's feet are shedding again. You know what that does to living things. It also looks a lot like Merry's hair. In fact, I want to think it's Merry. He's been a jerk lately, and it'd be funny to see Sam giving him the Speech. I've heard it so many times, I've memorized it:
"Uuuurgh! Confound you, {insert name here}! Do you know how long it takes a hobbit to grow one {insert name of dead plant here}? I've been waterin' it, sunnin' it, and feedin' it, protectin' it from coneys, and all'f a sudden you come in here an' crush it?
"It’s all wrong. By rights you shouldn’t even have been there. But you were. Now how could my posies go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
"Even if you're too small to understand why, you should always ask. I know now, though, that folk here, unlike the ones in most stories, are stupid. They keep going. Because they're too dumb to remember what I say. Now, {insert name here}, just remember that there's some good here in the world, and if you don't get the hell out of my sight, I will call them!"
I can't wait to see his face go red. Perhaps I should go plant some evidence.
Frodo even left a new note, saying "I want it now." Scarf Baron is very hopeful he won't get chocolate. Frodo is very allergic and might even blow up (hopefully he will not, or we will miss him dearly).
If Frodo does not get the candy by today, Frodo has no choice but steal his other scarf. That's right: Scarf Baron is a stone cold robber who don't answer to nobody.
In other news, I let Sam off the hook. He couldn't've taken the scarf now that we know that this "Scarf-Baron" is abroad. Something funny's been happening at his house too. His little posies aren't doing very well and clippings of hair are everywhere. Looks like ol' Gaffer Gamgee's feet are shedding again. You know what that does to living things. It also looks a lot like Merry's hair. In fact, I want to think it's Merry. He's been a jerk lately, and it'd be funny to see Sam giving him the Speech. I've heard it so many times, I've memorized it:
"Uuuurgh! Confound you, {insert name here}! Do you know how long it takes a hobbit to grow one {insert name of dead plant here}? I've been waterin' it, sunnin' it, and feedin' it, protectin' it from coneys, and all'f a sudden you come in here an' crush it?
"It’s all wrong. By rights you shouldn’t even have been there. But you were. Now how could my posies go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
"Even if you're too small to understand why, you should always ask. I know now, though, that folk here, unlike the ones in most stories, are stupid. They keep going. Because they're too dumb to remember what I say. Now, {insert name here}, just remember that there's some good here in the world, and if you don't get the hell out of my sight, I will call them!"
I can't wait to see his face go red. Perhaps I should go plant some evidence.
posted by Frodo at 4:08 PM
3 Comments:
well, i do believe it was you who played out revenge on the hollyhocks a few posts back.
Who? The Scarf-Baron? Well Frodo says "shame on you, Scarf-Baron," because that's exactly what he deserves.
Who's the scarf-baron? Is he some new robber slinkin' 'round town? I wouldn't know on account i was gone these past 2 weeks.
Post a Comment
<< Home